Things are real fucking nuts over here these days. Karen is terribly unreliable in an emergency. She picks the absolute worst times to have a melt down. Oh well, aside from my temporarily feeling better there would be nothing to be gained by my giving out too many details about my domestic chaos, so I will say no more. Hard though it may be to believe I do manage to maintain a positive level of optimism which assures me everything will, once again, turn out great eventually.
When all this annoying, hectic nonsense I am enduring due to this upcoming, big inspection is finally in the past and the place looks good and, more or less, organised to a reasonable degree, I look forward to resuming production. Hell, it’s been literally 20 years since I worked seriously at my art. By that I mean making finished, full color pieces, not all the pencil sketching and scribbling I did while on drugs. Sure, some of that work was very interesting, but I don’t feel it was by any means my best work.
So my work seems to be destined to be remembered after I’m gone. So what? How does this benefit me really? I’d rather be legitimately famous and respected while I’m alive. Then I could have fun and do all kinds of fun and interesting things. As it is now a bunch of people I don’t even know, and likely wouldn’t even like, will be making bank on my work.This is not a good deal for me. Maybe I should fake my death? Leave my clothes and wallet at the beach and just disappear off the grid for a while? Then a couple of years later I can suddenly show up and enjoy my (real this time) fame. I know it would never work, but it’s a fun fantasy.
I was trying to think of some fun projects I could start off with, nothing too challenging, but that offered unique, creative opportunities. Several people have suggested designing a deck of Tarot cards. Well, maybe someday, but that sounds a bit ambitious to do after a 20 year hiatus. I mean, there’s a lot of cards in that deck. Plus I’m sure I’d have to do a lot of research about occult symbolism before even starting. I can’t honestly say I’m ready for that kind of commitment right now. What I was just considering, the idea that I just got a couple of days ago when I got off on this paranormal jag, was maybe designing a few Ouija boards. That would be cool. People could print them out, glue them to a board or laminate them and actually use them for communicating with demons and ghosts. Anyway, just a thought. I’ve come up with, literally, hundreds of thousand of good ideas for art projects over the years but I’ve hardly done any of them.